You may have seen a survival manual,  when going on a trek on the Himalayas or maybe on a road trip in the Sahara 😉

I kept wondering always during my school & college days: is there a survival manual for the MIND,  or most importantly the HEART?

My search ended after 6 years in the Art of Living programs… I am not discussing this here,  but all the thoughts expressed here are a culmination of the 5 years spent with the knowledge that Sri Sri beautifully expresses..

So… as we say, Jai Gurudev all,  let me begin,  let the big mind win 🙂

Relationships: Are these relatives or relative? Are these without expectations or  expectations are without them? Are these selfish or selfless?…

Lot many questions, isn’t it… Hmmm.. may be we will find some answers 🙂 May be cause some things are always time bound; relationships are one of them & subject to the object of relationships..

When we say I am in a relationship with xyz, we generally mean we are heart over the head, in love with xyz! Yes you read it right, I am talking about modern Love affairs or issues 😉 Just look around & see these days no one wants to be single, some call it “peer pressure” (may be work pressure for them is low!), some call it… “are yaar bore ho raha tha” (not knowing this will knock more in them!), some call it.. “Oh man wht eyes” (& after some days they look inside the mind & wish they had looked deeper than just they retina!), some call it.. “I was dying to fall in love”(& here is a nice well to jump into!), some call it…”Kya item lagti/lagta hai”(& I say do they want a Rakhi Sawant here!)

Anyways, these & all will just be amusing, childish & silly… unless really well thought into, like with a human objective (as Nicks correctly observes) and not with just an objective of satisfying our objective desires..

Have we created relationships out of the need to satisfy our desires or expectations? If yes, I am 100% sure, they will not last long & more so not as we all expect, happily… In a relationship if we have the objective of “Giving” more than “Expecting” more, there it blossoms! It smells so sweet then, to give in a relationship feels so much happy! As you expect & as they are not satisfied (unless the other person is a demi god like Rajni!), human mind will always grumble (unless we are missing it 😉 ) So the key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship, is to Give more & Expect less.. Give whatever you can to your partner, make your each moment memorable, not only through gifts, holidays etc, but giving more quality time, space, consideration, sharing responsibilities & taking the lead in any mis-understanding 🙂      Simple isn’t it.. If we are beggars in a relationship, then only one is enough! Two beggars will make a competition, really tough one!!!

The second factor is of a building an infinite understanding. Today fast track, technological driven (and not driving technology as we are slaves to it) world, one needs to understand that there are infinite variables that can create havoc in you beautiful and precious relationship. One word from your boss & you take it down on your partner.. one critique & all hell falls… How to build this understanding then? Realizing that nothing is permanent & change is constant we can do this. So what if my partner shouted or behaved in this way.. we have a commitment towards each other of living and growing in our relationship.. Express your anguish, don’t let you mind play manipulation games, or let the hurt or anger accumulate in you.. Once you express it 100%, then come back to your commitment, remember the sacred relationship you have.. Yes a relationship should be guarded like a sacred shrine, like a sacred book, like a sacred religion( not like a sacred Splitsville episode!) Why??  You are Unique, so. The relationship is unique, so. The time is unique, the two souls are unique, your decision to stay together through thick & thin was unique, your fight to maintain this beautiful relationship, is unique….

Yes, each one of us is unique. Isn’t it? Imagine how boring life will be if all are like our PM Dr. Manmohan Singh. Every day we will get a dose of the passage in economics & then the foreign affairs & then what not.. Or all of us are like the enlightened Baba Ramdev(enlightened… Err… well he at least gave a light to the disease struck Indians… hats off to the man) So we all are unique and have our own USP.. Nicks mentioned the “My Type”. Correct.. Nature itself is not “My TYPES”… Sun and moon compliment each other, so does the day & night, so does the earth and sky, so does the rain and fire… Aren’t they opposites? Yet they are in a beautiful relationship. We have so much to be grateful about these complimentary value that nature has. So how can alike attract/survive  in a relationship? Maybe, I cannot imagine this !

So opposites will always create a relationship & commitments will carry them forward. There will be attraction initially, accepted. Its like the summers here in Pune… Once they set, its like amazing 🙂 Bliss, Joy, Gurudev!!! But then comes April, Mays… its only Gurudev, saves us… rains!!!! So does happens when 181 mm rainfall happens in a single day! Flush goes the attraction! along with it the excitement of this relationship with nature is scrubbed clean with Harpic! Bye!

Do we end the relationship then? Yes if we are weak with our commitments.

Come one, are we so medically advanced here that a sexy looking lass that you started a relationship with will keep looking like one in her mid 20’s(no offense meant, but yeah men can even look younger!) Were you under this impression to start all this.. If yes, at the age of 60 or 80 maybe(depends if your <> is an OLAY fan!) you will look like a stupid dog, with those tired eyes hunting for that beauty.  Or did we start this realtionship to be at the receiving end constantly? If yes, then you are fit for receiving the breakdown of such relationship too 🙂

Mature, beautiful, well-grown relationship don’t fall like a castle of cards in a small wind. Yes when people say ” Oh I fell in love with this person, who was like this and that, who promised me like that and that, who behaved like wow & how… but now it’s the total opposite” they have really FALLEN in LOVE.. GROW, RISE, STAND in LOVE.. So what if the person is no longer as you expected or perceived.. it’s your expectation or perception that has failed, not the relationship. Relationships are so relative. They are bound to change in relation to the people involved in it. How can a relative thing be static? And then people complain : My relatives are so bad!” Of course, they are! Relative, relatives !!

So some thing happens,  some heated words exchanged,  some immaturity shown etc.. You walk out, next day call you lawyer, file a divorce.. & then go to a bar, down a scotch and feel happy! How long?? Depends on how many pegs you take down!! But this is again a relative relationship with the scotch!

Where is the responsibility in a relationship to help it grow gone? Both share equal responsibility. Both have to understand & take the lead, tun by turn, to help the other partner grow, blossom in the relationship.. When you help the other partner grow, the relationship cause it is like a tree… well nurtured and given lot of love & care, you both will bask under it’s shadow & enjoy it’s fruits. You both will reach the skies, but remain grounded, deep-rooted… and when this tree grows bigger, this will give more people a place to rest, fruits to eat and what not.. Why cut this tree? Why be so selfish and destroy what was a selfless commitment? Insane immaturity… Breaks so many hearts..

Yes but never tolerate any physical abuses.  Not at all explainable or excusable. There are times when knowledge has no use, this is an instance of it. This calls for action.

Nicks picked up a beautiful point. About we losing the human touch today. What has happened to us?  Why do we behave so professionally today?  He did this and that to me, so hell… revenge. That day he said those words, his parents were rude to me,  so hell… slap for a slap. What’s going on guys? Are we dealing like computers here?

To introduce ourselves to our to be spouse, we proudly boast about our achievements, the companies we worked with, the positions we held, the money we minted… but never talk about the heart that need to be synced. Then as if we are done with we proudly show our management, technical & what not skills, just to manipulate the mind of the to be xyz… What about the heart? Isn’t that we want to connect to!!!

You want to read more… I promise you will all realize this & more within your heart, you just need to connect with it..

Come & experience the Art Of Living, Basic Part 1 course to connect back to your source.. Lets be human in relationships.

Jai Gurudev 🙂

Love, Joy, Bliss 🙂

I had a very good blog that got me started to write about this; Nikhil my friend .

Varun